Let's See if We Can Shed Some Light on This Question
From the SMART Member's Manual
SMART RecoveryŽ
Member's Manual
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The Questions
Do I Have To Quit?
To Stop or Not to Stop?
Still Not Sure?
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DO I HAVE TO QUIT? By: Arthur T. Horvath, Ph.D. AM I SOMEONE WHO HAS NO CHOICE? DO I HAVE TO QUIT? There is no one who has to quit an addictive behavior. There may be many benefits to your quitting, it may be quite unintelligent of you not to quit, and your behavior may kill you or ruin you or lead to your imprisonment if you do not, but it remains quite possible for you to continue on (just as many before you have done--even in prison!). Only you can make this decision, and presumably you will do so by examining the benefits of the addictive behavior, and the benefits of stopping. If you accept the notion that you are someone who cannot do this, who has to stop, you are very likely setting yourself up to feel angry, resentful, left out, frustrated, like you are missing out, depressed, irritated, bored, and so forth. If you are already using your addictive behavior to cope with various negative feelings, you may use it to cope with these also. To prevent these feelings, it is better to tell yourself what is really true, that you can do this activity or use this substance. The crucial question is whether you truly want to. Others may tell you that you have to stop, or that you are the kind of person who has to stop. Despite a poor choice of words, they are actually attempting to express their concern for you, and their fear that you are denying the extent of your problems. Unwittingly they may be creating more problems for you, because most of us react to being forced (boxed in, railroaded, not given a choice) by attempting to prove that we do have a choice. Unfortunately this reaction leads back to more addictive behavior, which may not be what you truly want. One expression for this kind of behavior is "cutting off your nose to spite your face". If someone insists that you have to stop, ask for the observations on which this conclusion is based. You can disagree with the conclusion but still learn a great deal from the observations. You do not need to accept any label that anyone, including this author, suggests to you. If someone asks if you are an addict (or some other term), you can simply say "No, I just thought my life would be better if I stopped, so I did". If offered your substance or activity by someone, you might in all sincerity reply: "No thanks, I enjoy it too much!" Order The SMART Member Manual 
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TO STOP OR NOT TO STOP? It is a good idea to do this exercise even if you are certain you want to give up your addiction. It clarifies what the addiction does for you. It also shows how it harms you or may harm you. If you are clear on what the addiction does for you, you can find other means of accomplishing the same thing. If you are clear on how the addiction may hurt you, you are better motivated to stop. It is possible you will find more reasons to continue than to stop. If you do, don't worry about it. Continue with the program anyway. It provides many ways to make your life better, and as your life gets better, you will have more reasons to stop. Fill out the two squares below using the following page (questions to ask yourself regarding benefits of continuing/benefits of stopping).
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