The Exchange Tool
Top of Tutorial The SMART Dictionary The SMART Tool Chest The SELF WorkPages	EXCHANGE VOCABULARY (c) By: Robert F. Sarmiento, Ph.d. Upset feelings are usually caused by the way we are thinking about what is happening, not the events themselves. To change your feelings (and your behavior), try the following 'exchange vocabulary.' This idea was given to me by a client, who related it to an exchange list for unhealthy foods. When you first try this new way of thinking, it might not feel right. The more you do it, however, the more natural these realistic beliefs will become. I think you will like the results, but prove it for yourself by giving it a fair try. Good luck' WORD EXCHANGE TABLE Instead of thinking:     Try thinking: Must     Prefer Should     Choose To Have To     Want Can't     Choose Not To Ought     Had Better All     Many Always     Often Can't Stand     Don't Like Awful     Highly Undesirable Bad Person     Bad Behavior I am a Failure     I Failed At Here are some examples: Instead of Saying:       Exchange with : I have to do well. I want to do well. You shouldn't do that. I prefer you not do that. You never help me. You rarely help me. I can't stand my job. I don't like my job. You are a bad boy. That behavior is undesirable. I'm a loser. I failed at this one task. I need love. I want love, but don't need it. EMOTIONAL VOCABULARY EXCHANGE TABLE REBT does not endeavor to eliminate emotions. Quite to the contrary! Emotions are very useful and part of the human advantage --- When Appropriate! Instead of Saying:   Exchange With: Anxious   Concerned Depressed   Sad Angry   Annoyed Guilt   Remorse Shame   Regret Hurt   Disappointed Jealous   Concern for my relationship
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