1. “hell with it all”, “(s)he is a louse”, or “I’m a louse”. This again leads to emotional distress (anger, depression, guilt, shame, etc.). This kind of thinking fails to take into account human fallibility (we’re not perfect). Therefore, one does not deserve damnation for being human, under any circumstance. We make, and will probably continue to make mistakes — let’s learn by our errors and try to make fewer of these in the future.
   

Like most people, you probably know much more about cognitive-emotive dissonance that you realize. This next example will tell you if that's so. If it is so, and you remember this example, you won't get confused when you experience cognitive-emotive dissonance while learning to cope better.

Imagine that you are a skilled American driver, but tomorrow you are expected to start driving an English car in England. In England they drive on the left-hand side of the street; therefore, drivers sit on the right side of English cars. How do you think you will feel sitting on the right side of a car, driving on the left side of the street in the busy London traffic?

That's a perfect example of cognitive-emotive dissonance. Your new ideas would be correct for the rational way to drive in England, but your still un-erased American driving attitudes would be triggering your old, American-driving gut feelings. These contrary gut feelings would make you feel as if your new, correct English-driving ideas were really wrong and should be ignored in favor of your old American-driving attitudes and reactions. And gut thinking alone would cause you to do just that. But then you couldn't learn how to drive in England. That's exactly what gut thinking does: It causes you to do the very thing that you don't want to do and makes you feel right doing it.

In addition to already knowing those facts, you probably know this one, too: Successful English driving would require you to ignore your gut and do exclusive 'brain thinking' as Mother Nature seems to have intended you to do anyway. Unfortunately, most unhappy people either don't know that fact, or they tend to ignore it when they try to improve their coping skills. The fact still remains, however, that to learn to cope better, people must favor their rational brain thinking over any contrary gut thinking. That logical act is the main key to success.

Maxie C. Maultsby, Jr., M.D.
'Coping Better....Anytime Anywhere'

Foreward by Pat

Although this is not entirely SMART , it incorporates some ineteresting Strategies for Learning from Emotions-- which is SMART :-)

One often misconcpetion about SMART is that we are trying to eliminate uncomfortable emotions...and that is not entirely the case.

Some things in life are deeply distressing. In fact if we DIDNT feel something then there would be an irrationality in play.

What IS SMART, is to learn to Pay Attention to our Emotions and Feelings becuase they give insight into what we Believe about Ourselves, Others and the World. They are Valuable !

Once we begin to manage our thoughts and emotions then we find a purer and more insightful set of feelings that motivate, and alert and propel us through our day to day life. It is Pretty Cool and well worth the Effort.

So for what it is worth, here is an article from Body and Soul.

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7steps to emotional alchemy

Dark emotions can transform themselves—and us—if we allow ourselves to feel them fully, consciously, and to their completion, says Greenspan. She suggests these seven steps to help you to feel and learn from your emotions. The process is not linear, so the steps do not have to be followed in this order.

INTENTION The feeling of brokenness must be fully experienced before it can be healed, and it takes a strong intention, or spiritual will, to use your painful emotion for a transformation. Friends, therapists, and groups can provide support, and if you are feel-ing overwhelmed—or having thoughts of suicide—seek professional help.

AFFIRMATION Next, go beyond any negative beliefs you may have about the emotion and affirm its value. Remind yourself that this emotion can teach you some-thing and help you make positive changes in your life.

BODILY SENSATION Pay attention to what the despair, grief, or fear feels like physically—the way it constricts your breathing or makes you fatigued, for instance.

CONTEXTUALIZATION Look outside yourself for the wider story of your feeling, placing it in the context of your family and society, and developing an attitude of com-passion toward yourself and others. Perhaps you feel hopeless, in part because you had an abusive mother. But what was your mother’s story? Maybe she was abused by her father, and she took her rage out on you. And what was her father’s story? Maybe he fought overseas and never recovered from the trauma of war. Contextualizing is figuring out how your despair is connected to the world.

THE WAY OF NONACTION At this point, extend your attention to your emotional pain, actually befriending it. Read, talk, write, and dream about it. Meditate on it. Ask it questions: What do you want of me? And listen to its answers.

THE WAY OFACTION Take the information the emotion gives you and do some-thing with it. Perhaps despair over world hunger leads you to work in a soup kitchen. Or grief over the death of your spouse leads to reestablishing a closer relationship with your widowed father.

THE WAY OF SURRENDER TO surrender to our dark emotions is to let their ener-gies flow, so they can lead, as they do naturally, in the direction of renewal and transformation. chanting, singing, and meditating with the emotion are all ways to surrender to it. —F.L.